Releasing Assumptions

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19

Assumptions are easy to make, in every single aspect of our life. When communication is fast and schedules are full, it’s natural to fill in gaps with our own interpretations. But assumptions can quietly create misunderstanding, frustration, or even distance where unity is meant to grow.

This past week at work, I attended a communication seminar to help with my serving on our school conduct board hearings. We talked about going into those situations with a preconceived notion of the student already being guilty or sneaky because the situation has been brought to that level.

The scenario we talked about was someone egging someone's car. We made so many theories and had many assumptions about the situation, but one crucial thing was missing. There were no eggshells. (this was after seeing a picture and everything).

So in this part a whole room full of professionals were so sure this poor student had egged another student's car and were ready to write a sanction, when in reality the student who owned the car used this as an opportunity to get a new paint job.

James reminds us of a better rhythm: listen first, speak second, slow down emotionally.

When we pause before reacting or assuming, we make space for grace. We allow room for context, for clarity, and for the reminder that everyone is doing their best to serve the same mission.

The other day, I was approached by a set of girls on campus who were just asking if I liked Jesus. They were dressed so cute and were so nice, I just assumed they were sweet Christian sorority girls or something. Halfway through I realized they were Mormons and my perspective changed DRASTICALLY! I even gave them a fake number instead of just being upfront. But prior to me noticing their religion, I was just a girl chatting with other girls about Jesus. I was genuinely enjoying the conversation. But definitely did not want to join... haha

We are all guilty of making assumptions and creating narratives and jumping to conclusions about people in our mind even before they say 1 word to us.

In ministry, assumptions can shift our focus from trust to doubt, but intentional listening shifts us back to love.

I am not saying that we are all going to magically stop our brains from doing this, it's human nature. But I think for those that we do know a little well we can shift our perspective a bit:

Assume positive intent first. Instead of “Why didn’t they follow through?” try “What might they be balancing right now?”

Pause before reacting. Give yourself time to respond with clarity rather than emotion.I am so guilty of this. I am the first to start attacking.

Ask, don’t interpret. A simple clarification can prevent unnecessary tension.

For us as a board - remember the shared mission. Everyone is serving Sigma Alpha Omega because they care deeply even if styles and communication look different.

Extend the same grace you would want. Leadership becomes healthier when grace becomes the default. We all react differently depending on situations, so try to put yourself in their shoes and see their perspective before you start assuming the worst.

Reflection:

Is there a situation or person that you can think of in the past few weeks where you may need to seek understanding instead of assuming intent?