70 x 7 = ?
"Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." - Matthew 18:21-22
In comparison, that is, for us to forgive our sister and then for God to forgive us, God shows way more in "amount" of forgiveness. He is so much greater and forgave so much more of our iniquity. Who are we then as His people to deny forgiveness?
Why is it that we as Christians still find it so hard to forgive? Is it because we hold each other to a higher standard that we forget that we are destined to fail now and then? Is it because we want to forgive but expect reciprocation on the other end until we feel it's truly done and over?
I've been trained in the Art of the Grudge by many women in my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm still the one responsible for any pent-up emotions against someone, but I have observed many a poor model of forgiveness. I can think of several women (and men!) who have crossed my path who I still reserve negative, vengeful thoughts. I am working to give that to God, and it's hard!
Being involved in the school system, I also got to see a lot of the ugly side of unforgiveness from others. For example, one band director I know had an amazingly supportive parent who was such an asset to their program, but as soon as her son was not selected for the much-coveted "drum major" position, she halted all volunteering and even began to attempt to trip up the band director for minor issues over and over again, obviously hoping that some authority over the band director would extend a "slap-on-the-wrist" or worse.
That situation got me thinking first of all the people who have acted that way to me. And then I thought about how selfish that was: as a Christian, shouldn't my first reaction be to think of how I may have acted that horrible way to someone else because I hadn't forgiven them?
Sometimes the most irritating part of forgiveness is that the other person has no clue that they need forgiveness in the first place. Then, it's so easy for us to fall into the temptation of making sure they know they do. Is that what Christ would do?
I think no, for "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). Jesus wasn't all, "Hey, you sinned and hurt me. Understood? Great. I'll die for you now, so it'll be alright."
Jesus died in the full knowledge that many would not accept Him. And as Christians, we will never understand the pain of our sin, as He took it on before we even knew Him. What a wonderful Savior! Amen? Amen!
If that doesn't convince you, forgiveness isn't just for the other person. It's for you too. I recently read a Reader's Digest article (yes, I know I'm 80 years old) about how to apologize, which made me do some soul-searching of who I might need to apologize to. Frankly, I need to apologize to anyone I've ever expected an apology from and never forgave. And sometimes I need to apologize to myself and Christ for letting another's actions or inactions distract me from the positive kingdom purpose I have here on Earth, denying myself of the joy of the Spirit.
While this Reader's Digest article isn't the same one I read, it confirms everything we know as Christians from a secular standpoint. It reports tips to avoid the pain of the toxins of unforgiveness and how to reach the freedom of forgiveness, even if the only person it gives peace to is yourself. Because, if we can't forgive, we have forgotten how much God forgives us.
"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." - James 1:19
P.S. Forgiveness does not mean you are a pushover! It is best to forgive someone, but not let them continue to take advantage of you or abuse themselves. In those situations, it is our duty to pursue help and/or resolution. God commands us to stay firm when it counts.
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